Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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