im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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