We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
