Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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