No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
