I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
wanna go halves on a baby?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
