well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
