just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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