I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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