I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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