I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
