the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
