I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
