How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
