So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
