Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
