I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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