forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
