they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize