i need an iv and a liver transplant
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
