: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
