found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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