I want to have your abortion
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
