Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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