So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
