Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
dude. I can hear the air.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
