Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
