My nipple is on Facebook.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
