Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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