I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
