it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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