If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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