Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Drake has all the answers
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
