he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
