Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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