so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
