Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
