okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I AM VODKA MAN
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
