so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Text me some of your sweat
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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