Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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