You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
