i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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