Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
