Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
