Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
