hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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