Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
