I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
