I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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