Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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