OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
