Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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