and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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