The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
