Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
