Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
