Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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