I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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