I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
