the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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