What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize