I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
